


fall asleep before i fall apart

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Sad Ending, consider yourself warned, i hate myself for doing this to myself, mascara alert, this is fucking sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 11:12:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18991510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Be safe, Anthony. You’re driving under the influence of alcohol.”Tony laughs on the other side of the call. “When has that stopped me before, Lokes?”He never sees it coming.





	fall asleep before i fall apart

“JARVIS, where is Anthony?” Loki asks, once he had stepped out of the elevator doors and noticed that the inventor is nowhere in sight. Tony was there an hour ago, leaning against the bar counter as he schooled a drink with one hand and tapped furiously at his phone with the other. Realizing that Tony was far too involved in his contraption at the time, Loki quietly placed the book he was reading back on the shelf and started walking back to the elevators. He has time to take a bath, and maybe by then Tony would have gotten off that device of his.  

“Where ya off to?” Tony had suddenly asked, looking up from his phone and stopping Loki mid-stride.

“I need a bath.” Loki replied, turning towards Tony, and then the corner of his lips pulled into a coy smile. “Care to join me?”

Tony had grinned like it was Christmas, eyes immediately brightening. “I’ll be right there.”

Loki had gone down to his floor after that. His floor was right beneath the penthouse, but he rarely spent time there, given that he’d unofficially moved to Tony’s bedroom a month after they started dating. It’s been almost 4 months now, and even though he loves sharing his space with Tony, there’d be very rare occasions when he retreats back to his own quarters for a bit of privacy. It was hard to shake off that constant need for privacy in the beginning – he’d been alone for most of his life, always closed off and living entirely within his chambers as he indulged in ancient books, so there was a different sense of comfort when he was in his own floor. Tony didn’t mind, understanding perfectly well what Loki meant. Tony was used to his privacy too, often spending hours in the workshop and completely losing track of time until Loki barged in – only mildly concerned for his well-being, or so Loki kept saying.

“ _Sir had an important matter to attend to. He told me not to tell you until he’s back.”_ The smooth voice of Tony’s AI fills the room in response to Loki’s earlier question.

“When did he leave?”

“ _Right after you did.”_ Even Loki can sense the disappointment in JARVIS’ voice. Deciding not to revel in the fact that Tony conveniently left without even informing Loki, he walks over to the bookshelf and pulls out the book he was reading prior to his bath.  

His patience lasts five minutes.

“JARVIS, would you please call Anthony?”

“ _Dialing now._ ” There’s a few seconds of silence before Tony’s voice occupies it.

“Heeey, Lokes,” Tony sounds excited and a little giddy – probably due to the alcohol he had downed earlier –  and Loki can almost see the smile on his face. “What’s up?”

“Anthony, where are you?”

“Almost home, dear. Just had to pick up something.” Tony’s voice sounds strange all of a sudden, and that’s how Loki realizes Tony’s lying – _hiding_ something from him. His mind starts racing with all kinds of possibilities and he speaks his next words in controlled emotion.

“You didn’t join me in the bath.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. I’ll make it up to you.” Loki hears a distant screech and a honk, followed by a string of low curses falling out of Tony’s mouth. “I promise.” There’s a sense of assurance in his voice that makes Loki almost sigh with relief. _Almost._

“Be safe, Anthony. You’re driving under the influence of alcohol.”

Tony laughs on the other side of the call. “When has that stopped me before, Lokes?”

He smiles, opens his mouth to snap back with a witty response when the sharp screech of rubber against road blares through JARVIS’ speakers. There’s a panicked ‘ _fuck!_ ’ right before he hears metal crumpling against the force of something stronger, the sound ringing in his ears. There are honks in the background – he can hear tires skidding, can hear _Tony scream_  right before there’s a loud crash of metal hitting something solid. There’s heavy breathing coming from Tony, mixed with soft noises of pain and struggle.

“ _Fuck.”_ A sharp intake of breath, and then, “ _Loki._ Lokes, are you there?”

“Anthony,” Loki stands up, eyes darting around in panic. “Where are you?” He can hear Tony struggling, can hear him trying to move. The soft groans, the sound of a body trying to move against leather, the sharp hisses of pain.

“ _God. Fuck._ I can’t _move._ Oh God, there’s so much _blood–“_

_“Anthony.”_ Loki presses.

“I’m- I don’t know. _Oh fuck. I’m so sorry.”_ His breathing's slowing down, and Loki can’t hear any more movements being made by the man.

“JARVIS. Where is he?”

JARVIS tells him. Loki teleports there in an instant.

He wishes he hadn’t.

There are shards of glass all around, leading to the upturned car that was on the middle of the road. The driver’s side of the car is _horribly_ dented in, entirely concave, and there’s a dark pool of blood leaking from the hood. There’s a truck a few feet away, its bumper dented and scratched, and Loki immediately figures out what happened. There’s a small crowd of people around Tony’s car, and Loki wants to cry out in despair. He can only _hope_ that Tony’s conscious. Shards of glass dig into his legs as he kneels beside the driver’s door. He can see Tony, eyes shut, face completely pale and hair thick with matted blood. There’s blood down the sides of his face, and the steering wheel is pressed against his chest in a manner that can only be fatal. The roof is dented too, only inches from Tony’s head, and it has a dark stain of blood the size of his head.

“ _Anthony_ ,” His voice comes out as a shaky whisper, lips trembling as his hands slowly reaching forward to feel his pulse. Shards of glass had sliced through Tony’s skin – his face, his neck, his arms – and some are still embedded in him. He can’t bear the sight of his lover looking like this, looking so.. _dead._ But, if Tony has even a slight flutter of his pulse, Loki could heal him. He _prays._

He hesitates right before pressing his fingers against Tony’s neck, doesn’t want to think about the possibility that there wouldn’t be a pulse. He presses.

_Nothing_.

“No, no no no. Please, _no”_ His eyes are getting glassy, vision turning blurry as he desperately checks for a pulse. “Anthony, _please."_ There’s a warm tear rolling down his cheek as he pulls away the dented door with one swift movement, throwing it behind him and not even bothering to look when it earned shrieks from the crowd. He shoots a tendril of magic, and the steering wheel that had Tony pinned to his seat moves back. Slowly, carefully, he eases his hands around Tony’s waist and pulls him towards him. He rests Tony against him, the lower part of Tony’s body still in the car. Tony’s head is on his shoulder – _almost like dead weight –_ and Loki turns him so he can see his face. The side of his face is smeared with blood, and now there are more tears streaming down Loki’s face. His breath comes out short and choked, pressing his forehead against Tony’s blood smeared one, and starts crying. _This can’t be happening. Not to my Anthony. He can’t be dead._

He refuses to let the medical team take Tony away from him. He _knows_ that Tony will just be another human corpse to them. They don’t know, _wouldn’t_ know how important Tony is to Loki. The world might mourn the loss of Tony Stark, but only Loki would mourn the loss of a lover who knew Loki like the back of his hand. Knew every feature in Loki’s body, knew what every expression meant, knew what every word meant, knew every secret, every look, _every feeling,_ and still _accepted and loved_ Loki.

He presses his lips against Tony’s. They’re cold and devoid of any sign of life, devoid of the warmth that radiated through Tony every time he moved or spoke. He can’t bear looking as the medical team take Tony and hoist him up on the stretcher. Can’t bear to look at they cover his face with a white sheet. He just sits there, kneeling in front of the car where his lover took his last breaths.

“Sir?” A hesitant voice speaks from beside him, and Loki raises his head, refusing to meet the pitying gaze of another person. A hand comes into view in front of him, holding a transparent zip lock bag with several things inside it. “These were the items in his possession. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Loki takes the bag, still refusing to make eye contact, and looks at it. The man continues standing there, and out of spite, Loki waits until the man leaves  to open it. There’s Tony’s phone, his wallet, his watch, a paper receipt and a small box. The receipt was dated for that day, only 30 minutes prior to the current time. Tony had mentioned that he had to pick something up. He takes the box in his hands, opens it, and a small sob escapes his mouth.

It was a diamond ring.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This probably felt a bit rushed, sorry. I couldn't extend my pain any longer.


End file.
